I can never stop laughing at this
some schools know how to have fun, and I was never in any of them
So I was laying down in bed with an excruciating headache when my boyfriend offered to make me a sandwich and I was like yeah sure please and then for some reason he got distracted and started to talk about something else and my head was pounding so I said “Cool story, babe. Now go make me a sandwich.” and he just literally looked at me with his mouth open before he finally said “You win this time” and went out to the kitchen
At long last after years of hearing this annoying joke coming from men’s mouths and overpriced shirts I get to say it to a guy.
Here’s a photo of the lil bitch where he belongs.He is going to kill me when he sees this already has like 40 freaking notes
let’s make this go viral*whispers* what have I done….
I showed him the notes and he said “oh god i’m gonna be a meme.”
Your boyfriend reminds me of my husband. We’ve been together for 9 1/2 years, married for 7.
You keep him. You keep him and you never let him go.
Apparently my boyfriend is the love child of Anton Chekhov and Harry Styles
The people have spoken
My hand slipped.
The Nice-Guy-McSandwhich-Meme, use it, please:
Oh my god I love you guys so much
it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of my…
my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV
so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe
Do you ever get to a part of the book where you get so angry with the main character because he just did something you specifically asked him not to do and now you’re going to have to sit there and watch as he tries to deal with all of the problems that his mistake brought about when, if he had just listened to you in the first place, it would have all been fine?
Dedicated to all my fellow retail employees
All of these are oh so painfully true.
I used to work at McDonalds and literally every single one of them has happened to me. Ergh.
that one kink that no one can ever know about ever